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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24930502">Find Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stache_oo/pseuds/stache_oo'>stache_oo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Former Dark Side Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Gen, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders Is A Good Friend, Morality | Patton Sanders Tries, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, My First AO3 Post, My First Fanfic, Protective Morality | Patton Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:15:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,304</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24930502</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stache_oo/pseuds/stache_oo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Patton walks in on something he shouldn’t have seen. When Virgil gets too overwhelmed, It triggers the forms of the Dark Sides. What will be the fate of the Light Sides?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>90</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Tysm for reading my work! This an original story I created a while ago and I wanted to share it since it’s the one thing that was actually good.<br/>Posting may be at irregular intervals but it’ll keep going. Anyway thank you and I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tysm for reading my work! This an original story I created a while ago and I wanted to share it since it’s the one thing that was actually good.<br/>Posting may be at irregular intervals but it’ll keep going. Anyway thank you and I hope you enjoy!<br/>TRIGGER WARNING!! Cutting and blood throughout, be careful!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Virgil, with tears streaming down his face, is curled up on his bed in a dark room. His back leans against the cold walls, the walls seemingly collapsing in on him. His breathing was hitched and uncontrollable with one hand tugging at his matted roots. There he sat, with a blade in between his two fingers, blood dripping down his arm and onto the towel. He couldn’t think, his head was filled with thoughts louder and more powerful than his own. He tried to yell back, to get their attention. But it was useless, they just yelled and yelled paying no attention to the side.</p><p>He loathed the sensation when the blade cut through his skin, wanting more of the pain that consumed him. He loved how the blood slowly dripped down, the sensations it left as it crept closer to the edge of the defined and sharp bone in his arm. How it stained the towel below him, slowly soaking in and reaching out. How it welled up in the deep lacerations of his forearms, overfilling the crevices. </p><p>As black, thick tears streamed down his face, his many eyes grew foggier. He really was a monster, huh? If Patton would’ve seen him in this state, he’d truly be horrified at the monster in front of him. Nothing could fix his form, he’d tried everything. Even smashing into items in his room, everything destroyed at his fruitless efforts to return back to his normal state. </p><p>This was his everyday look when he was in the dark, but he wasn’t so used to it now. Paranoia was always on edge, but here he was able to relax. Was he returning to his original trait? How would that work? The others would certainly lock him away and throw away the key if he was changing back. </p><p>He was seemingly in his own world at this time. He wasn’t present in his room, but in a world filled with only pain. Only regret. He doesn’t pay attention to the quiet knocks at his door, he can’t hear it. Only the soft vibrations of the sound deflect off his bubble of pain. </p><p>The knocks get a little louder, sure not to disturb the side. Everyone knew Virgil was a bit more jumpy than them, it was in his nature. So no one really questioned for forced their way in when Virgil locked himself away for days at a time. They didn’t really need food after all, so he didn’t need to leave.</p><p>Patton cheerfully knocks on his door. “Hey Virg, come down! We’re playing game night!”<br/>
Virgil wept, in his own world of deprivation, unaware of what was going on around him. Behind the door, Patton started to grow worried of him.</p><p> This happened often, where he’d lock himself in his room, stubborn and alone. But it never got easier for Patton. He’d always worry about the fight or flight reflex, but this time felt different. The door had a soft black glow to it, and more webs than usual. It made him feel uneasy, and a little nauseous as he approached it.</p><p>“Virg? Hello, are you in there?” Patton questioned, opening the door slowly to reveal a cold and dark room. He was surprised to see it wasn’t locked, a truly rare occurrence. Patton winced as the door creaked open. He could feel Virgils aching heart from the door. It was like a strong stench in the air that he couldn’t quite place the origin of. It wasn’t something he was quite used to. Patton’s face scrunched at the smell filling his senses. </p><p> As Patton slowly stepped in, the room got colder, sucking him in and surrounding him in dispair. He heard crunching under his feet as he stepped in. Broken glass? Maybe, Virgil would sometimes break things when he got too overwhelmed. Not to worry though, things replaced themselves easily in the mindscape. </p><p>“V-Virg? Whatcha doing there? Are you alright?” As Patton approached Virgil’s bed, the dim purple light surrounding Virgil lit up the space around him just enough to see the overall picture. Patton’s face dropped as he looked around only to see blood. </p><p>“VIRGIL!!” Patton screamed as tears started to well up in his eyes, his world growing ever foggier by the second. Patton’s scream seemed to shake Virgil out of his head, throwing him for a loop when he looked around to see the destruction surrounding him. All he could see was his blood and Patton, crying at the foot of his bed. He couldn’t help but to weep, Patton should’ve never seen this horrific scene. </p><p>In response to Patton’s scream, the other sides rush in, feeling the dread weigh on they’re shoulders. The others slowly step in, floor creaking and glass breaking  below them. They all see purple-tinted light around Patton frozen, in tears, and Virgil, curled on his bed, blood still dripping down his arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ok ok hear me out.....<br/>a n g s t<br/>alright thank you for coming to my ted talk</p><p>no but seriously thank you for reading!! it means so much to me that people actually read and like my work &lt;3<br/>TRIGGER WARNING!! blood mentions throughout</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Logan, completely aware of the situation, jumps into action and starts making orders in a shaky voice. </p><p>“G-get the medical supplies! And R-Roman, get towels and water too! NOW!” Roman sprints out of the room, running down to the kitchen to grab supplies. </p><p>He had only caught a glance of the situation, but he was still taking it in. How could Virgil do that? How much pain would’ve caused this? </p><p>Patton jumps over Virgil’s bed frame and hugs him, hesitantly cradling him in his arms. He had to get over the fact that Virgil’s face was... well, his face. His old face. The face that would torture Patton at night.</p><p>“Virgil, please! Y-you don’t  have to do this! I’m never leaving you, ever!” Patton cries, longing for him to just move, show signs of life. Logan, crying into his hands is alerted when Roman comes back by the door being kicked open. </p><p>Roman looked so disheveled even in the short distance from Virgil’s room to the kitchen. He’s carrying everything from bandages to a bucket of water (which, based on how wet the side looked, had splashed everywhere on his way). The intelligent side wipes his tears and grabs some bandages from his arms. </p><p>Logan wasn’t known for letting much, if any, emotion out for anyone to see. The fact that he was crying, right in front of everyone was unusual, but a sweet sentiment. </p><p>“Wrap the wet t-towels around his arm! A-and squeeze at the elbow to restrict the b-blood flow!” Logic stuttered out, rubbing some antiseptic into Virgil’s wounds. Roman follows his orders, working with Logan to stop the bleeding as Patton cuddles Virgil. Both sides’ hands were shaking but they pushed through for their emo nightmare’s sake. </p><p>Virgil’s almost lifeless body cuddled tightly into Patton’s. It didn’t feel natural, two starving bodies holding each other. Patton sacrificed everything for the others, including his health. </p><p>As he held the fight or flight reflex, his skin tingled with the best sensations of touch. Morality ate up the contact he was receiving. How could he be this content when his friend was dying in his lap? </p><p>As Logan and Roman finish with his arm, Virgil slowly edges off of his attack. He looks drained in more ways than one. He tries to move but his efforts are fruitless as his body aches and Patton stops him softly but firmly. The painful sensations running down his arms and through his bloodstream felt like electricity shocking his every organ. The antiseptics didn’t make it any less painful.</p><p>“Don’t try to move Virg, just lay down, it’s ok. I’ll take care of you.” Patton whispers in Virgil’s ear tenderly, almost father like. It’s calming to Virgil, but Logan and Roman are still sobbing, panicked after wrapping and managing his arm. They doth looked disheveled, blood stains and wrinkled on their once perfect and pristine uniforms. Roman’s once perfectly gelled-down hair now looked messy, hair sticking up in every place possible.</p><p>Roman comes closer to Virgil, touching his head softly. He runs his hands through the emo’s matted hair and pricks at the knots. “I’m so so sorry you felt you had to do this. I-I’m sorry for not doing more.” Roman sobs as he stares at Virgil through dogged eyes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tysm for reading!! I love you all &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Part 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>aaaas where are you guys coming from?? there’s so many of you tysmmm!!<br/>idek what’s going on anymore, I’m /drowning/ in angst and I couldn’t wait to post this chapter!</p><p>TRIGGER WARNING! cutting and blood mentions throughout</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>All the negative energy in that room practically summoned Janus and Remus. They rose up, appearing at the door. They were glowing green and yellow from their auras. </p><p>They knew they were very unwelcome but couldn’t stay away. Janus slowly walks forward, feeling the intense glares of the other sides. </p><p>“We could feel your energy from across the mindscape! What are you doing?” Remus says, cheery and unusually lucid. What was happening? Janus knew what was feeding Remus, and he chose not to intervene because that meant more peace for him. He was self-preservation after all. </p><p>As he gets closer to the bed, he stops abruptly. Tears start streaming down his face, over the smooth skin of his human side and over the rough bumps and scars that plagued the snake side of his face. He saw the person he took care of for so many years sitting in a pool of his own blood.</p><p>The memories of every time Janus would help the emo out of his episodes and anxiety attacks, how many times Virgil fell asleep in his lap after a hard day. How many times they watched horror movies together, all three cuddling on the couch to conserve the only heat they had.</p><p>Remus steps cautiously, his green aura lighting up the space around him. As he steps closer, though, his face drops. For the first time, he frowned at the blood gushing from Virgil’s wounds. Never had he been so repulsed by the very thing he drew from so many others.</p><p>Janus suddenly runs over to Virgil, sitting on the opposite side of him as Patton. It almost gave the other sides whiplash, watching him suddenly sprint towards the emo. </p><p>“V-Virgil, son, what happened to you?” Janus says softly as he starts to reach for Virgil’s arm. Suddenly, Virgil jolts his arm back, snuggling into Patton more as he winces from the pain of his injuries. Of anyone he didn’t want Deceit touching him. He didn’t even want him near Patton. </p><p>“Kiddo, he’s alright, he’s not going to hurt you, I promise.” Patton says calmly, rubbing circles in the emo’s back. Virgil loosens up, still a little timid, as Janus grabs his arm carefully. </p><p>He takes off the old bloody towel and examines the gashes, still pumping out blood, before him. Never had he ever seen such a bloody scene, even after living with Remus for so many years. </p><p>“Virgil, these are really deep.... I know you’ve been hurting but this... I didn’t know it was this bad.” Janus says in disbelief, still taken aback from the gore in his hands. The cuts went almost down to the bone, no wonder he was bleeding so much. </p><p>Logan hands Janus another damp towel with some antiseptic rubbed in to wrap around Virgil’s arm. As Janus disinfects the wounds, Virgil starts to lean into him more, wincing at the pain of the antiseptics. His eyes closed tightly as the antiseptics burned his wounds.</p><p>Once Janus is done rewrapping Virgil’s wounds, he works up the courage to ask what no one ever could. </p><p>“Virgil, what led to this? What did you think you were doing so wrong? So wrong that you thought you deserved... this?” He gestures to the emo’s arm, still in his lap. Virgil looks up, weakness and tears fogging his eyes. </p><p>The other sides look at Janus in disbelief, tears in everyone’s eyes. They look cautiously over to Virgil, who seems to be trying to work up the courage to answer.</p><p>Virgil sat up with the help of Patton, fidgeting with his jacket sleeve. Tears dripped down Virgil’s pale, boney face. </p><p>“Well, I-I’m always being painted as this bad guy... I guess I was just t-tired of being one, tired of ruining Thomas’ life.” Janus took it all in as all the other sides felt disappointed in themselves. </p><p>How could they let this just go unnoticed? Surely they could’ve stopped this gruesome scene from taking place. Sure, he was anxiety, but did it really have to get this bad? </p><p>“Well, Janus and I get that everyday, you think you’re special?” Remus mutters under his breath, knowing full well that everyone, even Virgil, could hear that. Janus glared at him disapprovingly, almost warning him of what the others would say. </p><p>As the other sides yelled at Remus for his statement, Virgil tightens his fists, so hard his nails cut into his palms. This wasn’t uncommon, he almost always had the crescent-shaped scabs in his palms. The others stopped bothering to comment on it. </p><p>Janus stops yelling as he feels Virgil’s back starting to develop lumps, eight to be exact. The side knows exactly what’s about to happen, but he doesn’t bother to stop the inevitable from happening. His eye starts glowing yellow in response to Virgil and Remus starts glowing green and developing a thick layer of what appears to be slime on his skin.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ok ok y’all already KNOW what’s about to happen! it’s about to go down! <br/>also thank you for reading!! i appreciate all of you so so much &lt;3<br/>as always, point out any flaws in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Part 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>wow look who’s finally posting at a reasonable hour? first time for everything ig <br/>tysm for reading, it means so much to me! </p><p>TRIGGER WARNING descriptions of disassociation and forming throughout</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the lumps start getting bigger, Janus’ scales spread. The scales and scars were spreading to the human side of his face. It bubbled up with boils filled with pus. As they popped, they left green-yellow splotches and rough bumps. This just reminded him of why he never forms much. It’s an extremely painful process, even for Virgil and Remus. </p><p>He tries hiding his face, wincing at the pain as his clothes touch the boils. Pus drips from his face and onto his clothes, soaking in and staining them. Great, now he’ll have to remember to wash it afterwards.</p><p>His once normal eye started to contort and change, moving around in his eye socket. As his pupil contracted and dilated, it started to change to look more like his snake eye. </p><p>The dark side of creativity gripped his roots with his hands. The voices were coming back. His back stretches and tore as it made way for the tentacles slowly creeping out. </p><p>This reminded him of the switch, a very unpleasant experience to say the least. Though the split was the most painful of the two, the way the bones snapped and skin stretched and tore was too similar for comfort. The Duke looked up to see dark figures surrounding him with their glowing eyes. It drove him insane every time! </p><p>“they’re not real they’re not real theyrenitrealtheyrenotrealtheyreno-“ Remus repeated over and over again to get them to leave. But, this time it didn’t work. They crept closer, eventually engulfing Remus in their darkness. </p><p>Virgil’s eyes shuttered open and closed while he went in and out of consciousness. Paranoia, his old trait, crept up from the dark depths of his being. </p><p>Anxiety wanted to fight it, he wanted to so bad. But, given the most recent events, he was in no shape to fight off something as powerful as that. </p><p>Paranoia was a stubborn trait that threatened whatever got in his way. He was strong and ruthless, which made a good dark side. </p><p>He fit right in there, until Anxiety took control. As Paranoia shoves Anxiety to the side, his world goes dark and, finally, Paranoia has gained control once again. </p><p>Patron looks over to Virgil and Janus and sees yet another gruesome scene. He didn’t take note of the fact that their eyes were glowing their given staple colors. The side stared in disbelief, he knew this would happen, but why now? Why so soon?</p><p>“g-guys… GUYS LOOK!” Patton shouts, the others averting their gazes to see what he’s about. As they analyze the scene, their faces drop. </p><p>They hadn’t payed any attention to what Remus was doing, they were just lecturing him. No wonder he wasn’t making any snarky remarks or making fun of Roman. </p><p>In front of them sat Patton, in tears with his hands over his face. Virgil, many glowing purple eyes and growing sharp, black legs. Janus, both snake eyes glowing yellow with boils on his face and pus dripping down the scales. </p><p>The three struggle to hold back the inevitable. But, it’s much too late. Patton tries to calm Virgil down while Roman talked to Remus and Logan tended to Janus’ wounds. Everyone working together finally, the closest thing to peace the minds ape has had in years. It felt almost refreshing, for a second. </p><p>The light sides’ efforts were fruitless as they had gotten much worse. Virgil, with his spider legs almost fully grown out. Janus, who’s legs were fusing together and is almost fully covered in scales, glowing yellow even more now. Remus, tentacles still growing, glowing an almost blinding green.</p><p>The other sides just stood there in shear fear of what would happen to them, to Thomas. Everyone was frozen still from the fear as they had tried to stop it. They all feared what would happen this time as the last was devastating to the mindscape.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Where are y’all coming from?? i’m so happy you guys like my work, it means so much to me. <br/>anyway, comment about any flaws as always!<br/>&lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Part 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>aaaaa I’m so sorry this is so late! I haven’t had much motivation recently.<br/>Also, sorry this one’s shorter, I’m preparing for the next chapter. <br/>wow no trigger warnings? who even is she?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Finally, after the worst few minutes of their lives, the dark sides finally finished forming. Paranoia has his hundreds of glowing red eyes and his spider leg. Deceit has formed into a bright glowing yellow snake, so huge that he crashes through the ceiling, leaving even more debris on the floor. Impulse has evolved into his squid form, slimy with thick tentacles reaching out from his back and a large mace in his hands. </p><p>The light sides are paralyzed in horror and shock, knowing that now they won’t be able to communicate with the real dark sides in this form. Their darker counterparts had already taken over their minds, corrupting their every sense. It was like they were watching through fogged glass, but they couldn’t control anything outside.</p><p>It was like a prison sentence, they were forced to watch their friends, their family, get hurt by the parts they tried so desperately to hide. But, they had gained control once again. They corrupted every thought, every instinct, and distorted reality in their eyes.</p><p>Still, Patton tries, crying out to Virgil. He had to fix this, didn’t he? He knew it was coming, why didn’t he stop it? All these questions and accusations plagued his mind.</p><p>“VIRG!! Listen to me, PLEASE!! I’m sorry we never addressed these issues, PLEASE calm down!!” Patton’s balling at this point, trying to calm him down before the inevitable war breaks out. Maybe he could reach him this time! Maybe this time would be different…</p><p>“Now now sweet, gullible Patton, Virgil isn’t here anymore~. He’s not in control of me anymore.” Paranoia cackled at Patton’s attempts to free Virgil from the prison that was his own mind. </p><p>Roman walks over to Patton slowly, putting his hand on his shoulder, never breaking his gaze from the apparent monsters in front of them. He was the prince, he had to win this! He had to fight for them, even if it meant sacrificing himself in the process.</p><p>“We can’t stop this, it has to be done.” Patton nodded his head. He didn’t want to believe that they were gone, but he had to face that fact. Roman was right, they had to fight. For Thomas.</p><p>The light sides gear up in a burst of blindingly bright light. It was always so easy for them, so unfair that the dark sides had to go through all that pain.</p><p>Patton with his sharp whip, Roman with his sword and armor, and Logan with his potions and elixirs. Each had their roles, they were an organized team. Much better in the eyes of Logan than the monsters that had no organization, no rhyme or reason to their forms. </p><p>The dark sides roar, rumbling the ground below them. It has begun, the event that could end up in the light sides total victory, or their ultimate demise.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ahaha angsty much?<br/>yeah, get ready for the next chapter, it’s going to be a doozy-</p><p>as always, comment if you find a flaw! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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